"I Do"

I promise. Those two words is what marriage is all about

Today that promise is being broken; between 45% to 50% of marriages end in divorce. Why do these marriages end? and how can you save your marriage?

“By listening to each other, thousands of marriages and relationships would be saved,” Susan Minock says. “I know several couples who have ended their marriage due largely from not listening to what their partner had to say. Sometimes they even desired the same thing, but they weren’t listening.”

 

Experiencing forty-six years of marriage and counting, Susan Minock has been through the highs and the lows of marriage. She draws from her personal experiences and believes taking the time to listen to each other is what sustains a happy, thriving marriage.

“Listening has taken a back seat. We [American couples] don’t listen. Many of us think we do; but it is important to realize that when we are thinking about what we are going to say, while our partner is talking, we're unable to listen,” Minock says.

Minock believes a good way to become a good listening-duo is to recognize how wrapped up with ourselves we are, and acknowledging that caring about what our partner has to say is paramount.

The Minock’s believe one of the most important things a couple can do is arrange a date night. Hire a sitter; turn off your phones, and talk to each other. Also taking the time to listen and absorb everything your partner has to say will remind you why you fell in love and married that special someone.

“But what's equally as important is observing how much you talk – make your point and move on. In addition to that, be mindful of the tone being used. A calm tone is much easier to listen to," Minock says.

“When you go on your date, you will see many couples eating with each other, but they won’t be talking to each other,” Minock says. “For older couples, they may be occupying their time by reading a newspaper and for younger couples it's spending time on their cell phone. They need to spend time with their partner in that moment, without distractions."

 

Another important exercise Minock believes is very useful is writing down how you feel on paper and having your thoughts read by your partner. When they are reading your words, they have no choice but to listen. 

Minock says, "you will learn amazing things about each other through listening, and it's important to validate each other’s feelings. In addition, it's critical to listen to what your partner isn't saying." 

Marriage is worth the fight. Minock says it is 100% easier to give up and give in; just like giving into a crying child and handing them that cookie so they will settle down. 

I will leave you with a video. Do you know a couple who does this?